Posted in Life Mental Health

A Hellhound Update, Escapism, and Life Kicking My Ass

A Hellhound Update, Escapism, and Life Kicking My Ass Posted on 22/04/20174 Comments
Ahoy, hello! My name is Jenny. I am a thirty-something human female from Manchester in the north of England. I enjoy rainy days and sad songs, custard donuts and salt & pepper chips and beer, lentil dhal and fried okra, X-Files and Twin Peaks, fierce fat heroines and mental health advocates, dogs and cats and otters and a very special beirdo. To paraphrase Sylvia Plath: "I blog because there is a voice within me that insists on writing lots of ridiculous chuff".

Dearest Blog Friends,

I have been rather absent lately, with a lot of change and worry in a lot of areas of my life. I enjoy using my blog as a wee outlet for my thoughts and feelings, as well as a way to take stock, and look back. It’s therefore frustrating that I don’t feel able to delve into the details of life’s recent difficulties just yet. Amongst other things, my Mum was admitted to intensive care a couple of weeks back after suffering a ‘small’ heart attack, and while she’s back home safe and sound now, it’s difficult when you realise very strong people aren’t invincible. I feel like I’m facing challenges at almost every turn lately, and so I’m trying my very best to stay level-headed and positive. That’s not always very easy you guyz.

After my last post, I made an appointment for Vulpe with the vet. We talked about all the various training methods and remedies we’ve tried so far, Vulpe’s health, diet and routine, and talked about her behavioural issues in a lot of detail. Having been pretty much at the end of my tether, I was relieved that the vet decided to try Vulpe on a short course of clomicalm, a medication used to treat anxiety in dogs.

I’ve always been convinced that fear and anxiety were at the root of Vulpe’s ‘misbehaviour’. If she’s overwhelmed, it manifests as extreme fear (tail under, shaking, panting, rolling on her back ‘submitting’) and if she’s comfortable/safe, it manifests as aggression. She’s always been absolutely teachable and ‘obedient’ in the calm, safe environment of home, and so I’m hoping very hard that this medication will calm Vulpe enough for me to be able to teach her that the world/strange people/strange dogs are not terrifying. Wish me luck, folks. If this works it will be a wonderfully positive step for my sweet little pooch.

towpath bike rides are flat and fun

Escapism has been much appreciated lately, wherever I can find it. Cooking delicious vegan food has been rather far from my mind, and I’ve been subsisting on a great many slices of toast and bowls of noodles.

Life stumbles on, of course, and I’m trying to hold it all together and focus on fixing the stuff that’s not working out so well at the moment. Peace, stability and calm are my goals. Resisting the temptation to hide under my duvet 99% of the time is challenging at times.

If you’d like to, feel free to comment on this post to let me know what you do when all you want to do is hide from the world. What’s your favourite escapism?

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  1. I hope the Clomicalm helps! <3
    I have been not really coping with the world for some time now, though the last three or four months in particular have been pretty rough with everything that happened with Sahara. I have been listening to a lot of Buffy-related podcasts lately as an escape. Buffy is my favourite show and means a lot to me, so the podcasts are a great way to pass time. I've also been rereading my Buffy comics, which has given me an appreciation for comics in general so I am enjoying exploring that.
    I also do bikram yoga a few times a week, though that may be as much out of habit as anything. But I think it helps.
    Spending lots of quiet time with Dim Sim, when I can get quiet time. She sleeps in my bed now, under all the covers with me, which makes my heart explode.

    1. Ugh, I’m sorry, WordPress spammed this comment which is just so rude!

      I’m sorry to hear that the world has been tough lately 🙁 I think escapism really counts for a LOT when we are running on empty. I’m very glad to hear that Dim Sim is looking after you though <3

  2. I’m so sorry that things aren’t going well right now. I hope your mum and Vulpe are both on the mend and that you’re being as kind as possible to yourself and taking things easy. I don’t have any particularly original escapism tips: taking a nice walk in the outdoors, reading something great, watching ‘Parks and Recreation’ or eating lots of cake – that’s all I’ve got!

    1. Thanks Jenny, they all sound like really sensible tips! I’ve been hiding away with Netflix, but spending time outdoors is wonderful too. Cake is ALWAYS helpful!

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