Posted in Life Mental Health

A Very Well Illustrated Moan

A Very Well Illustrated Moan Posted on 08/08/20164 Comments
Ahoy, hello! My name is Jenny. I am a thirty-something human female from Manchester in the north of England. I enjoy rainy days and sad songs, custard donuts and salt & pepper chips and beer, lentil dhal and fried okra, X-Files and Twin Peaks, fierce fat heroines and mental health advocates, dogs and cats and otters and a very special beirdo. To paraphrase Sylvia Plath: "I blog because there is a voice within me that insists on writing lots of ridiculous chuff".

Hello lovely blog chums!

I sure hope you’ve all enjoyed a tremendous weekend? We celebrated one week in our new place by being super lazy. I might have been the most lazy, I’m not sure. Lately my time has been spent alternating between big bursts of activity/productivity, and then extended periods of sitting on my bum eating cake, or napping. I feel like I have heinously neglected a lot of the business-as-usual parts of being an adult lately: hobbies, work, Uni….. I’m trying to gear back up to a productive level of normality but I feel like I’m still shaking off a long period of intermittent fatigue and laziness, which more or less started a year ago.

Our new flat is Just Lovely Though. Basement flats aren’t for everyone, but I’m loving our cave. It’s tremendously spacious, and having super stuff like a dining table, full size dishwasher, utility room, underfloor heating, good water pressure in the shower and a proper spare bedroom is all just splendid. I treated us to a shiny new 40″ HD SmartTV at the weekend, with the olde deposit money, and boy does blu-ray Twin Peaks look good on it. It’s probably not the wisest purchase if I’m trying to be more active and productive, but I did promise myself I’d replace the crappy old (unreliable) telly, so buy it I did.

Vulpe models the spare bed

I counted up all the boxes I unpacked as I went along, since we moved last weekend. I did that so we could sell them along with all the packing materials once we were done. You guyz, I unpacked a total of 60+ boxes. That’s a lot of boxes.

Vulpe’s been settling in super well and I feel absolutely guilty as heck for not prancing around the neighbourhood with her 4 times a day. I’m really struggling to get my energy levels back up to (even vaguely) normal and after a big ol’ round of tests, the doctor just advised me to do more exercise. So I’m back on the bike for my commute and hopefully things will pick up soon. I don’t feel like the best dog-mum at the moment though. Ugh.

Dog in new garden

Adjusting to the New Job has been a much harder task than I envisaged too. I started here just over 2 months ago and it really is not what I expected at all. I do feel quite misled and I feel like, after one or two unwanted encounters here, I am backed into a bit of a corner in terms of options. I more or less quit a career (and not just a job) in taking this position and it feels weird and difficult. I’m exploring my options at the moment and I just hope I can get some peace of mind around it all before I’m due to re-start my MA study in late September because my brain continues to feel like mush right now.

New garden: a much more manageable size

I think the absolutely incredible amount of junk food I’ve eaten in the last few weeks probably isn’t helping me much at all. I really don’t focus on my weight anymore, but I do focus on how I’m feeling and lately I’ve felt like a usless, donut-guzzling lump. Even though I’ve lived as a donut-guzzling lump previously and still managed to cycle ~50 miles per week and keep up my energy levels, just right now it feels like it’s slowing me down and I kinda just want to give my body a break from all the junk. Obviously, I just want to carry on eating junk though, because I feel super lethargic and a bit ‘beh’. I AM TRYING, YOU GUYZ. Sometimes it’s weird and hard.

Wow, I guess that turned out to be one big moan, didn’t it? I am happy about New Flat though. It really is the most wonderful cave and I’m hoping that the other stuff will start to slot into place soon. In the meantime, to mitigate the moaning, here’s a snoozing pooch:

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  1. Thanks for the honest post. Sometimes one wonders if one is the only person on the entire internet who has mixed up feelings about stuff and struggles to do normal adult things! Always great to hear the real talk, and I do hope that things get a bit easier to sort through from the lovely cave.

    1. Thanks Rachel. Oh lordy, I struggle to do normal adult things the majority of the time! But some stuff does make it harder and I hope I can sort all that out soon. (The cave helps.)

  2. Glad to hear that the flat is lovely. Does your spare bed duvet have donuts on it? My sister used to have sushi pyjamas but a donut duvet is even better! Sorry to hear about the job stuff not being what it seemed like it would be. I have been in that position and it is tough. In my case I stuck it out but switched to another job role on an internal secondment after about 18 months that was much better and then that got made permanent. Sorry to hear about the fatigue too. It’s something I also have issues with. Resting is important so lazy days are necessary so don’t feel bad about having them. It’s hard to get a balance, I try to plan both exercise and rest time into my week now. I’ve also been taking a magnesium supplement for the past few months and I do feel that it’s helped so maybe that’s something to look into? xxx

    1. Thanks Caroline. Yes, the duvet set is from Primark which also has sets with unicorns on right now! Sushi pyjamas sound amazing! Erk, the job situation is very disappointing and taking into account the dramatic misrepresentation of the role given at interview, and the weird/inappropriate comments from a couple of important folk, I am definitely on the lookout for an escape. I have an interview next week (sshhhh) for a role very similar to that which I left in HE so I am (probably foolishly) pinning all my hopes on that right now. I’m glad you’ve managed to end up in a better position, I think these things can have a real impact on us. I pretty much just take my B12 these days but someone else mentioned magnesium so I might give that a go. To be honest, something feels Not Right with my body but my GP seems to think there’s nothing wrong so for the time being I am taking her advice and getting on with things and then hopefully I’ll be in a better position to report back if I don’t start to feel better. Thanks for the suggestion 🙂 x

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